Forgiveness… A Half-Birthday Reflection

Half Birthday Photo!

So, the big 5-0 is just around the corner. Wow. How is that even possible? Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday I was celebrating my 21st birthday. Funny how we say that, knowing full well it’s been nearly three decades. But today, as I sit in the quiet of an attic in a shared home in South Africa, I feel the pull to pause... to reflect... to breathe deeply and write from the heart.

Life—it’s been such a mix, hasn’t it? Highs and lows, laughter and tears. And through it all, I’ve come to feel something deeper than just contentment. I feel grateful. So incredibly grateful. Yes, there have been trials, heartbreaks, and moments that shook me. But somehow, none of it has hardened me. I’ve been hurt—but not broken. Disappointed—but not destroyed. I've faced betrayal—but I've never allowed bitterness to settle in.

Now, nearing 50, I realize I've learned to hold both the beauty and the bruises of life with open hands. I’ve learned the art of release—of forgiving people who didn’t say sorry, and blessing people who never deserved it. I’ve learned how to walk away without hate, how to be misunderstood without the need to defend myself. And honestly? I’m good, y’all. Really good.

Peace has become my anchor—not peace as the absence of struggle, but peace in the presence of wholeness. True peace. The kind that lets me embrace conflict not with fear, but with curiosity. Conflict reveals hearts. And more often than not, what it reveals is pain—a wounded child beneath the grown-up mask. Living and serving in South Africa has made this truth even more real.

No, I won't tell stories to stir pity. There are hungry children here, yes—but there's another kind of hunger I’ve encountered. A deeper kind. A hunger for identity. A longing to be known. To be loved. To feel like they matter.

What many don’t know is—they already are deeply loved. They have a Father who sees them. Who knows every hurt. Every hope. Who sent someone like me, thousands of miles from everything familiar, just to remind them. And as I’ve poured into others, I’ve found myself being healed in ways I never expected.

If there’s one truth I’ve come to cherish, it’s this: forgiveness is everything. Honestly, if anyone had reason to hold a grudge, it could be me. I’ve been lied to. Talked about. Mistreated. And I haven’t always responded perfectly—I'm still human, still learning. But I’ve made peace with the imperfections of others and my own.

Reading Matthew 6:14 in the Amplified Bible hit me deeply. Forgiveness isn't just about saying "it's okay." It’s about releasing others from the weight of their wrongs—“letting them go, leaving them, giving up resentment.” And I can say with full confidence: there is no one I am holding hostage in my heart. I’ve released them all. Truly. And in doing so, I set myself free too.

And that? That freedom? That peace? It is the most precious birthday gift I could ever receive.

As I approach my jubilee, I do so with a heart overflowing with gratitude. I know the road ahead will still have its hills and valleys, but I also know—without a doubt—it only gets better from here.